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Jun 09, 2015, 09:16 AM
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Member Since: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 623
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Restin
Lady Lindsey, I'm not quite sure why the hospital seems so dreadful. I was in and out of the two different psych wards in my town, about 21 times in a decade. They were mainly just a place to crash when I got such anxiety i couldn't endure it. Meds didn't help. The hospital stay didn't help much except to get myself together again. There used to be a ...
I don't mean to put any pressure on you...forgive me if I seem too nosey.
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Restin,
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my Mom is Mentally Ill, and has been in and out of the hospital through my whole life... the fact that DID is considered a Mental Illness, makes me feel like I am my Mom, by going to the hospital would just confirm it.
Logically I know I am not my Mom, and a great deal of why I am like I am is because of the craziness and instability of her mental illness, along with some other things.... I am so afraid to be like my Mom, I love her to death, but I have done everything in my power to be a great Mom, give my kids a good life, be a good wife, work hard in my career, and if I go to the hospital... in my mind it means, I am a failure and I am my Mom, and everything I have worked so hard to overcome is not true and maybe I messed my kids up, etc.. etc... kinda runs a lot deeper, but the Hospital is not an option for me. The only time it would become an option is if it became a choice of life or death.
__________________
Lindsey
“Even on my weakest days
I get a little bit stronger” - Sarah Evans
Wise words I am trying to learn to live by and will slowly learn to believe as I heal......
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
- Steve Maraboli
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