Thanks for the tip Chocoholic. I've read that not eating can sometimes help stop hunger (once your body figures out you're not going to get any food, it's not productive to drive you crazy with hunger), but I'm a bit wary of going down that route. I really want to try to focus on health... it's just so hard when, honestly, food/sugar is a coping mechanism for dealing with everything else. I definitely agree though, it's much easier to avoid snacks and junk food if I can stay busy!

Hvert, I'm glad you had such a wonderful weekend! Do you think it's going to help you move from where you're at to where you want to be? You sound so happy and excited about the event you went to, and then when you talk the current job, it sounds so miserable and deflating. I hope you can find something more inline with your skills and talents soon to transition to (well, I hope we both can!)

I think you're right about the processed foods. I've been moving in that direction too, there's just so much *crap* in processed foods. It's just that... cooking everything from scratch (and cleaning up after!) takes SO much time. I'm trying to find ways to streamline where I can, but, it's still hard.

Your idea for an experiment sounds interesting, but really hard too! I'm pretty content if I can stick with just buying "ingredients" and not processed stuff.

I don't know that I 100% kicked sugar in the past. I had gotten pretty comfortable with no sugar (including breads and grain products, with pretty limited fruit even) 6 days a week, and then 1 "cheat day". That's how I lost the weight pretty easily. I did feel really good doing that, I slept SO much better, it was amazing. I don't think there's any other point in my life where I slept so well, would get tired at an appropriate time, fall asleep quickly, and then wake up actually feeling refreshed. These days, with the sugar, I wake up feeling like I've been run over by a truck (and that's pretty much been true most of my life).

I agree, I don't want to be rude (re: playing high). But I really want to be able to summon some "presence" when it's needed, and better stand my ground. I feel very pushed around by the world . Like, I'm *always* the one who gets out of the way on the sidewalk, it's almost like people just don't see me.

The really sucks about the job, I'm sorry. It feels like... you were moving in such a good direction by starting your own company and selling yourself as a consultant, and then you got sucked into the craziness of this job, and now you're dealing with the likes of video-port-guy. Argh! I'm frustrated for you! Keep selling your company and looking for a way out! I *know* there has to be a better match for you out there!