I was emotionally neglected i childhood too. I understand the tremendous grief you carry because of this. We need to try learn to love ourselves and try let go of the past. I know its very difficult to move on from such grief. I still carry grief too.

Books is good, it can help you and be of support. Know that you are precious and to be told that you dont matter more than your brother is not true. I hope you know this truth.

My brother was kinda scapegoat and wasnt allowed to talk to me in living room, he got beaten some times, I remember seeing it. He took his own life.

Be good to yourself.