I'm having a dilemmaIn 2012 my grandson was born and lived with me. My daughter in law and son also lived in the house but they were in a new relationship and seemed more interested in themselves. She was not an attentive mother and would turn off the baby monitor. My husband and i essential became his parents feeding bathing up when sick etc. My daughter n law started doing drugs when my son went to community corrections and she was gone for days on end she had another baby with my son a girl. When my grandaughter was a month old she fled to california with my then 1 1/2 year old grandson and 1 month grandaughter to avoid prosecution for a bunch of things including shoplifting. We got a call 20 says later that she smothered my granddaughter as she co-slept with her on the couch but was not tested for drugs for 6 days and she is a meth user so they couldn't prove she was hi when the baby died. she returned to Colorado and less than a month her sister called DHS stating she was using and not caring for the child. Long story short they gave him back to me and after a year when she did nothing ie rehab etc they gave me permanant custody. My son is now out of corrections, has a great job and a new wife and soon to have baby. I like this lady she is an EMT and now my son wants me to give him custody back. I am having difficulty because i have been this childs primary care taker and we are significantly bonded. This child has had almost everyone in his life leave even if it was not intentional, his mom, his sister is gone, his dad (even though he was in jail and wanted to be apart) and my husband left me so all he has ever known to be stable is me. Part of me feels bad and thinks i wouldn't want someone to keep me from parenting my child but i don't want to damage my grandson or have him think i am giving him to his dad because i dont want him. He is3 and kids internalize things ie dad and mom got divorced cause i was bad etc. I am torn.