And another thing is people are jumping on my case because I said "fears intimacy," and I didn't even say that' I said I BELIEVE she does. I'm not sure, but given everything that's what it seems like. I'm open to other possibilities, but when I googled "fear of intimacy" the scenarios they described rang so perfectly true to me.

She didn't seem disinterested. I know damn well she's not actually THAT busy. I don't think she was only being friendly.

5 Ways to Deal with an Intimacy-Phobic Person | World of Psychology

"Have you ever met someone and got along famously, only to have them back off suddenly? Perhaps you reacted by ignoring them when they finally tried to get in touch a few weeks later, and now, ages later, are still wondering what happened.

There is a good chance that you simply became involved with a person who suffers from fear of intimacy."

"Intimacy-phobics are prone to suddenly pulling back just at the point a person who is comfortable with intimacy leans in."

That seems like EXACTLY what happens.

"If you’ve just spent a weekend away with a new friend and thought it went well, but they take ages to get back to your texts and emails, it could be that they are overwhelmed and taking time out to recover."

Yep.

"Intimacy-phobics can be experts at asking just the right questions to keep you talking about yourself. That way they don’t have to ever talk about themselves and can avoid uncomfortable subjects. They can give you such focused attention that you walk away feeling great and thinking it was a good conversation, not realizing that your friend didn’t share anything in return."

That's her to a T.



Here's another:

http://thepocketpsychologist.blogspo...and-mouse.html

"The truth is that these relationships reflect an unarticulated struggle that exists within the participants. They are both fearful of intimacy and their cat and mouse game allows them to engage in this unspoken dance, where each of them participates in maintaining a certain distance in the relationship. The truth is, unconsciously, the cat is interested in the mouse because it flees, and the mouse is interested in the cat because it chases. As long as one is fleeing and the other chasing, they can each be reassured of a connection between them, but also that a certain distance will be maintained."

And that's really what it seems like. It's like she's fine pursuing me, but the second I start moving toward her, she completely shuts down