I sent T an email a day or more ago, after a tough session.
I think my reasoning brain had checked out. The email was a big blurt of feelings- that if my brain was on would have stayed buried (or I would be working on keeping it that way).
So now I have no control over the email, am left wondering what the heck T will think of it and of me. How do I walk in to Ts office next session without fear, shame and embarrassment. Will it be worse or better if T doesn't even email me back. I don't know.
Usually I am restrained - but I lost it. I gave it up. Now I just feel stupid.