His previous relationships have all typically been women his age. Never anyone young like me. And, he actually typically took the role of the submissive or at the very least, a neutral role. Never the other way around.

Since writing this post, I've given up wallowing in self-pity and being sad. I've been going every day he works to see my horses. I've been ok when he works late or overtime. I've just done MY thing. And it's been SO liberating. But, as you might probably expect, he is losing his mind. He is convinced that I don't love him anymore. Because I can actually go OUT and be happy. How possessive! Today, he is off duty but has a physical exam to take so he told me he'll be sleeping when I get home. So I said, ok, I'll go out to see the horses then. And he told me no, I had to come home, because any time he is off, we need to be together.

Obviously I didn't take that too kindly. Especially because days he works and I'm off, its HIS time. But days I work and he's off, its his time?

Honestly, this isn't even bothering me. I realize more than anything I was the one locking myself in this hole. He has a very respectable job and he is a good man. But that doesn't mean I have to give up MY life to support him. All that's done is make me bitter and sad.

We'll see how things go. I realize I'm probably being a little cold with him right now, but our ENTIRE relationship he has been calling the shots. And I've let him-- because I didn't feel like I had the worth to be independent. But I do!