I think what would help you GREATLY is what my t suggested to me when I kept misunderstanding and misinterpreting her words and actions. . .

Ask For Clarification.

Example:

"When you said such-and-such, what did you mean?"

"I noticed you did such-and-such because. . ." Am I right?"

"I don't think you want to see me anymore because. . . "

Every time she says or does something that gives you that "Uh-oh!" feeling in your gut, that's a sign that something doesn't feel right, something feels scary of off. That is a sign that you need to stop right then, when you first feel that icky feeling inside, and . . .

Ask for Clarification.

I know that for me, I was terrified to ask for clarification. I was afraid to ask questions for fear that my t would get angry, or that I would hear something that I would not be able to handle, or maybe she would say it's none of my business, or whatever. So I would go away and wonder, stew, and guess what she meant by the things she said and did. And the way I had it figured out was almost always wrong!!! It was not until I started paying attention to that "stomach dropping" feeling, and then talking to my t right then when it happened, that I started to see the real situation, more than just my own internal story that I was telling myself.