what a sweet message, thanx. i am feeling a little better today, meaning i am more functional. i still feel numb and empty. Practical things have not gone well today and for some reason my pain meds are not working... and that ironically gives me distraction from the loneliness.

i can't connect to nature except through my dogs. i live inner-city and have no place to go for that. It's a couple of hours to the beach and hard for me to get to any wilderness park. Walking for more than 10 minutes is out as well (sorry to be so negative) but i have spondylolysis/thesis among other things. The best i can do is a short walk to a paved tennis court so my dogs get a run.

i wish i could get more exercise.. i know it helps because it changes your body chemistry somewhat. i can't afford the local pool very often... but i should make more of an effort. i should do a lot of things i can't seem to get around to. i'm so pathetic that way. i can't even seem to help myself when i have some idea of what might help. Ok.. yup... big loser.

thanx for caring anyway