I can empathize with the pain you are in, and I am so sorry. I was 13 and in 8th grade when I began experiencing symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder.

I had only two or three friends (who could be seen as more acquaintances, really, as we never hung out on the weekends or after school). While in class or on field trips, I would be forced to sit by myself while everyone else got into groups or collaborated on an assignment. I would literally be sitting alone at the only empty table in the room. This happened so often that my mother had to call the teacher and he had to assign me to a group. It was humiliating.

In my sophomore year in high school, my friends had a different lunch period than I, and so I spent the last three months of the aforesaid year eating lunch in a bathroom stall. Again, it was humiliating and very painful.

At 21, I still have Social Anxiety Disorder; it was not something I outgrew. However, I can tell you that - with the exception of my sophomore year - high school was a better experience for me. College has been even better, for I have the option of taking several classes online.

I agree with 'With or Without You' in that you should seek therapy. I wish I had done so at 14, for it would have helped me to cope with the pain the disorder caused. A therapist will give you a safe environment in which to divulge your experiences; an understanding and empathic demeanor; and tools to help you work through this difficult time.

As well, there are several books on Social Anxiety Disorder that you may find helpful. Type in 'social anxiety disorder' on Amazon and browse through the selection. Also, I recommend 'The Gifts of Imperfection' by Brene Brown.

Stay strong, look into therapy, and know that things will be better.