I'm sorry that you are going through this with your son. My eldest step son has quit college and lost two jobs due to severe anxiety. He would literally curl into the fetal position to avoid going. He was living with us at the time and we said that we could only continue to help him out if he tried to help himself by seeing a counselor. He agreed. There were ups and downs and he was sitting at home all day so next we said if you can't handle a part time job why don't you start with helping us around the house a few hours a day and see if you can work through that. This worked great for two weeks but soon panic attacks would happen when it came time to help out. We were trying to be understanding, I in fact suffer from anxiety myself so I would spend hours talking to him trying to help but the result was always the same. By this time he was seeing a counselor and was put on 5 meds (he has OCD thoughts and major depressive disorder as well) but most days were spent staring into space stuck in a panic attack. To make a long story short after three years of this we decided that it wasn't healthy for him or us to live with us and after we helped him get on SSI he moved out. He has been doing so much better out of the house and is active in volunteer work and taking one college course. He is tapering off some of the meds and feeling less in a fog. I think that we can help someone with anxiety but only to a certain extent as hard as that is to hear as a parent. I love my boy more than anything but I think helping him get that little bit of independence has worked wonders. I hope this helps in some way. I know how hard it feels when you feel like your hands are tied and your child is struggling.