I woke up from my usual 2 hrs of sleep...(been manic forever it seems) and now all of a sudden, today, I am wanting to stay under this blanket and never come out. I am so tired of these moods. I feel like this disorder is defining me and making me a victim. I can't seem to get control of myself. I am seeing docs and am on meds. I tell them what's going on and all they do is switch my meds or increase the dose. It's like they don't really LISTEN to me. At least my med doc doesn't talk back. They just say, we will try this for a month. Then same the next month. Ugh. It's a constant roller coaster. I am so angry and messed up in my thoughts. Reading the posts on here is the only way I don't feel alone.
I am just rambling...I really hate the downs. They hit me HARD.

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