A few night's sleep on this and it doesn't feel as devastating...
I understand where she is coming from. She had a lot of hurts piled on one after another from a very young age. I would hazzard that *her* mother was narcissistic. Mine has zero social skills and super-thick emotional walls. She passed those on to her kids. We learned that being connected to people and expecting things from them means disappointment...
It just sucks to hear that she has very little emotional connection to even us. I keep trying to remind myself it does not mean I am worthless or disposable. She does worry about us, and she checks in with both my brother and I, so there's *some* connection there, but... I dunno. It sucks to know that the abuse has been going on for generations.