Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions and Doc John, thank you for taking the time out to explain things to me. I appreciate everyone's thoughts on this.
Apart of my anger is not being heard. Getting negative attention to my anger was better then getting no attention at all. It's a survival tool I used growing up and I can't seem to put it down. Only now I would rather have no attention then the negative attention.
I don't know how else to be heard. I don't know how to ask for help when I'm that emotional. I don't know why I become that emotional and I cannot think rationally when I am that emotional but even when I do manage to think rationally in the midst of it-the surge of adreneline overrides it.
I feel alone when I become angry. I feel like a bad person. I feel like I deserve any of the negative responses I attract from it. And then I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself.
It's hard to deal with this IRL because there's little or no compassion and extremely rarely will you get understanding.
Nobody "catches" me-if you know what I mean. Here, people catch me. I feel like it's safe enough here to express my anger and be spoken to honestly about it-when I'm in the wrong or my way of thinking is warped and at the same time, I also get compassion, understanding and hugs. That's not easy to come by IRL. Not at all.
I guess, what I'm trying to explain is-I need a sounding board. A safe one. One that's not going to judge me. I guess I could put all my angers under the Self Help category which is listed all the way on the bottom of the menu and hardly anyone ever ventures down there.
Right now I'm having trouble trying to express what I'm feeling so I'm going to take more time to think about it.

Thanks again.