my story is a bit different but still was a lot of trauma. i was born very early, so i believe from the trauma of that, daily medical stuff (often painful), etc. was probably where things started for me just to keep me alive. i was not expected to live and beat the odds twice in my first year of life with medical stuff.

i experienced s*xual abuse starting probably around five (a man lived in our basement for a few months who i have little memory of but apparently spent a lot of time with me who i have two or so partial memories of) on and off up to about 10 or so (possibly a r*pe by a cousin when i was 7 or 8, but i am unsure if that did happen or not as i have bits and pieces of that particular memory).

my s*xual abuse was also by kids around my same age or just a few years older (one was a friend's stepbrother one time, but i do not know what he did as again i just have bits and pieces of that one too). some was normal and not harmful to me emotionally, etc., but some was not.

i also spent from about 6 to 11 years old in a chaotic home filled with anger and family violence (never towards me), but i witnessed a lot of things (also things i don't have memory of but was told i was there for). it caused a lot of terror in me of being killed as we had to escape my first stepdad several times...and that fear has never really left me.

i also experienced emotional neglect from my real father for many years as well as feared him due to anger outbursts (never physical) and more directed at other people..but he was also very critical of me. thankfully, he has changed so much, and i am actually proud to call him my dad now.

and then there was also just the verbal and psychological stuff mixed in throughout childhood as well from various sources.