i am going through some difficult problems in my life, especially my marriage. Long story and i don't feel safe having it on the internet. i don't harbour any ill will toward him at this point and an explanation would reflect badly on him for various reasons. It would kill him to know i would do that.

But recent developments have left me in tears over finances. i have little hope of making a good life for myself. i have some disability issues that meant i had to give up the career i am trained for.

My T has openly said he would never tell me what to do or to leave. Sometimes i see him as someone to cling to to help me move on, and other times i see him as a threat.