Quote:
Originally Posted by hankster
Is it just me thats not getting it? Or your ts. You wanted to switch to individual t with your MC. Your ts said no. Now youre trying to get single sessions, almost like a workaround. Its like theyre being parental and saying, oh no we see thru your trickery. I wouldnt play that game with them.
I personally dont think theres anything wrong with wishing your h was more like your mc. Where else are we going to learn how to be treated right? Thats what i feel my t has done. You feel you have a better rapport with mc than t. I wish they could see that their role is not to further deprive you, but to better serve their customer. I think thats what my t would do. Maybe you need to make it clear that yes you are saying erotic transference but you are NOT looking to jump anyones bones. I had to make sure my t understood that too.  |
Hankster--Sorry, leaving out some of the backstory here, so makes sense if you don't get it! When I first told MC about my transference in March, we had a couple individual sessions (with my H's OK) to work through it. At the end of the second (and last) individual session, he told me his door was always open to me, if I wanted to meet with him again. So that's part of what I'm referring to.
There was one time, like 9 months ago, before I realized the transference was going on, and I was mad at my individual T about something, that I asked him if I could have a couple individual sessions with him to work through some of my personal stuff. At the time, he said no, that he'd feel better if I just worked with my individual T. But then when the transference came up, he was completely willing to work with me.
At first, it was partly erotic, partly paternal, so yes, there was a bit of comparison with H. But I feel like now it's just paternal. I'm just confused at how MC is acting toward me now, especially in light of our conversation Friday where he was very caring and reassuring. Really, all I'm asking for right now is just to have another individual session with him, which he implied was OK on Friday, if I preferred that over a phone call. Also, I'm not sure why a phone conversation (we've had two half hour ones in the past week--we don't normally talk on the phone) is OK, but not an in-person meeting, where there's less room for misunderstanding since you see body language/facial expression. Like, maybe he couldn't tell how upset I was on the phone yesterday, but in person, it would have been obvious. Plus, then he'd be paid for his time if I come to the office!
I'm hoping we can come to a resolution, because he's someone I like having in my life, and he generally makes me feel very safe and cared for.
(Note that my husband is aware of what's up, so nothing underhanded going on.)