Yes, I have been fighting this episode since January and it's been bad since March. I've had very long episodes before, it's fairly normal but the psychosis part is not. The paranoia and talking myself down all the time is getting old. I'm spending the next few days at my sister's house and hope that the change in routine will make that better not worse. The hallucinations may be better; I haven't had any today. Maybe they just needed some sleep? Or they'll be back tomorrow. Who knows but I'm glad for that. I'm just so glad that I'm finally on a 2nd med. I wish there'd been a way to know that Latuda wasn't going to work; I would have asked to try something about 2 weeks ago. But that was hard to try to discuss via email I discovered so it may not have done anything.

I'm supposed to call my pdoc tomorrow and let her know how it is going. I hope she doesn't tell me to increase the dose yet. Something inside me says to go slow. She obviously knows the risks that I have so I'm sure she'll agree with that but we started so low that going up shouldn't matter much. But my body says give it longer. She'll listen to that I think although everyone wants these symptoms gone fast so I don't know. I want them gone too but I don't want to find that fast caused something bad.

I just unpacked from the potential IP and now I need to pack for the time at my sister's. Which probably means I need to move around and do laundry. I don't want to do laundry. I want black cherry Greek yogurt. I don't know why I want something that specific but I don't have any and there is no way I'm taking a shower and getting dressed and driving to town just to go get a yogurt. That's been another change: my appetite has been more normal. I ate 3 meals and a couple of yogurt (weird obsession) snacks today and I'd been ignoring eating until evening for some time. I think that's a good sign although it also scares me that this could be a weight gain drug. But if I'm just eating the things I ate today I should be fine. And as I told the dr I'd prefer to not gain wegiht but I know that's secondary for the moment.