I don't even know why I bother to continue living. I am 36 year old male and have no motivation or expectation out of life. Just sit home and watch TV and play video games. I used to ride my bike but I cant be bothered with that anymore. I wish I could kill myself sometimes, but i don't think i can do it. All the options I can think of are too violent and I don't want to risk a failed suicide where i am left alive but disabled either.