I just wanted to leave you a quick note to say congratulations Scottie dog for being 10 years strong. That is honestly an accomplishment

Here's my take on things.

When Christmas time came you were triggered back into your past of worrying about calories / food you eat etc. And you haven't been in this position in 10 years.

The more you went on weightwatchers the more you may have been triggered into past behaviours with food and the cycle within itself began.

I'm all for healthy eating plans with everything in moderation. I say a big slice of chocolate cake once a week - why not?

But I think that this has now crossed over the edge into some kind of obsession for you, and this is the area in which you need help; so that you can move forward from here. As easy as it is for me to say "You've done it before", the reality of you being able to get your mindset around it can be challenging; as I too have learnt from past experience.

I do believe though that this is something that with time and the correct support; you can work your way through.

Please let us know how you go.