I'll be gathering info tomorrow about what options may be available to me. Will look into whether I can be declared disabled by depression -- maybe medicare would cover more of hospitalization than my insurance, which is self-pay and very expensive at this point. And since my unemployment checks run out in a few weeks, disability would help that way, too.

And I'll be looking into out-patient options.

I'm most interested to learn how hospitalization can help people. My last 2 therapists have both said I have a kind of trauma syndrome from having so much loss heaped on me last year -- but there was no appropriate facility in Florida. This hospital outside of New Orleans is one of a only a few that has a unit specific to trauma symptoms.

I wish I could carry on with my life. My mother and her sisters -- they just put their shoulders to the wheel, nose to the grindstone. None of this self-pity, emotional paralysis stuff for them. I can understand why they have no respect for how I am. On the other hand, I admire how they are.

So again, I'd just like to emphasize I'd like to learn what hospitalization was like -- the routines, how it helped or didn't help.