i wish i could find a good way to control this anxiety. deep breathing and meditation do not help; neither does mindfulness. or counting, or trying to distract myself, or talking, or, or... nothing. only thing that helps is a bit of alcohol, and i have to keep nursing it throughout the evening, or the damn anxiety comes right back. it takes me by the stomach and squeezes. napping also passes the time, but i can only nap so long. i cannot nap my life away, unfortunately. i also do not want to end up an alcoholic, like my parents. it would be easier if i lived in a better environment. sigh.