There are many things about him that upset me, bother me, etc. I've been married twice before and never felt such strong feelings towards those husbands as I do him. Initially I was angry we didn't meet earlier in life. I still struggle with the fact, other woman got his best self and I'm getting the guy whose all but given up. His constant excuse is I'm set in my ways. He's 43, I'm 41.

I know no matter what age we met my family would have disliked him. Basically we were upper class, and he was from the projects. After his dad died when he was 13 his mom moved all over and often. His class records were lost and he didn't graduate, got a GED. Records were misfiled and found later. He attempted law school but with little support in life he didn't get far. Instead got on the wrong side of the law.

That alone is something that under normal circumstances for me would have been a deal breaker. I used to dump guys because I didn't like their name, their college choice was another one, looks of course. He's putting me through hell on earth and my feelings for him still hold strong. It's crazy for real.

I don't really even understand why I feel the way I do, and I actually wanted to marry him, didn't give a **** to marry anyone before just couldn't say no really, and I really didn't want to get married to my two exes. But looking back if I was half as forgiving toward even one of them as I am toward him I would have still been married.

Love is crazy, and I don't understand it at all.