I have been in an on again off again relationship with a man who likes to leave our relationship very ambiguous to say the least.

A little history:
we dated a few years ago for eight months and then he faded for a few years only to reappear last year. We got back together, only for him to disappear again. Both incidences he left me with zero closure, both disappearances have triggered my BPD.

With the help of DBT and God I am dealing relatively well, but his birthday is coming up and I am having really hard time navigating what I am suppose to do. I know that for most people this a no brainier, he established that he does not want to communicate with me by ignoring a few texts that i sent a months ago and not reaching out to me; but the need to reach out to him is really strong. Please note i could convince myself that world is flat if it prevented me from suffering what is perceived rejection on my part - yes that is the funny thing about BPD - you can reject us countless of times, but us reject you, forget it!!!

If anyone has any insights/suggestions or comments please let me know.