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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
Just a thought, do you at all see that you solely have YOUR needs sexually in mind here? does it occur to you that possibly your insistence that she get medical help with her libido might have further made her NOT want to do anything about it? If I had a hard time with sex for any reason I'd hope they'd be more understanding and not so quickly push me off to a doctor to be FIXED. The issue of losing one's libido isn't always entirely a physical one and to so quickly assume that a drug or otherwise medical remedy is all she needs is rather simplistic. I'm not saying this to be mean but your insistence could easily be taken as very selfish.
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Actually you're quite correct. Thus the reason I've backed off entirely. I've talked to her about me not pushing anymore or asking about doctor's or anything. I don't want to push the issue anymore as my insistence, you noted, is inappropriate.
Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
Throughout the rest of your post it seems there are other issues going on that are complicating things too. It may not simply be a physical libido thing at all. With your issues of her non-touchiness, I wonder if that's been an issue all along and now it just seems to confound things because of the lack of sex also?
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Totally actually. She's never been overly affectionate, but we always had a very good sex life. But last October it suddenly stopped. I don't know why, could have been any number of things and a sudden change like that was alarming. Thus my insistence to see if something was wrong medically or psychologically or whatever. But as I mentioned above, I was compounding the problem and have backed off entirely. I don't want to be part of the problem and I can't be part of the solution.
The really hard thing is that there isn't even any being supportive. I just have to sit and let it come from her side. In the mean time, we're drifting farther apart.
Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
I think with your comment that she says her Vagina may not be tight enough could be a sign that there are deeper issues going on that may be affecting the situation. Think about your performance anxiety and how it affects your ability to climax. In the same way, if she's having anxiety about her body, have you thought about the fact that maybe your lack of being able to complete has in her mind made her think perhaps her body isn't good enough? This is what I see in your short comment about how she's pointing at her lack of "tightness"
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She has always had body image issues going waaaaaay back to her childhood. But whatever came along in October shut things down. I don't know the connection, but something is there. Something I can't push ... again, pushing to see the psychologist is just making things worse, not better.
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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
I won't minimize that both men and women have needs that should be met in a relationship and I don't want to make this sound as if I think that's a non issue at all. It isn't but what I see in your post is more worrying about how to get what you want rather than curiosity about why your wife may be having trouble with wanting sex at all?
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I can understand that actually. The post is from my own emotional perspective.