I trimmed your post considerably. Yes, bipolar is a disease, and it is a disease that WITHOUT TREATMENT gets worse. But if you treat it, and take your meds faithfully (and by that I mean make it your new religion), your good days will outnumber your bad ones and you will not be defined by having bipolar. In fact, it can and should be something that you deal with as a maintenance thing, like changing the oil in your car or taking your blood sugars with diabetes. I say this having dealt with the diagnosis for twenty-one years now. So rule one is fine a good combo of meds and TAKE THEM.... rule two is equal with rule one.... find a good pdoc and BE HONEST with him/her.

Life is still worth living.