So after being in the partial hospital program, the doctor (psych.) and social worker/ therapist said I was stubborn and that I'm unaware of "attention getting behaviors". I've never felt more lost, sad and crushed in my life! Here I am trying to get help for trying to deal with anxiety and not wanting to kill myself, and that's what they had to tell me in the end?? This is such bull ****!
I'm going into an intensive outpatient program for OCD (finally, the actual help I desperatley need) and ONE person told me they thought I was going to be good and I would be able to do it, without telling me anything else like the others have.
I'm also trying to move out so I can go to college and get away from home for a while, and I had such high hopes about it but my mom, sister, and grandmother have all told me things that have internally crushed me. I know I shouldn't let that get to me, but I went to the ER because I said I felt really badly towards other people (Like, really bad, if you know what I mean) and the police officer made it clear that he didn't want to be there, and the nurse scolded me for taking my moms car (Yes, that was my fault, but nobody understands: it was either me taking the car or really, really bad things happening). So, all in all, they scolded me and sent me home.
I will never go to the ER again as long as I live. Ever.
The hotlines and people tell you to go there, but when you do, they tell me "The ER isn't the place for this". I'm so done.
Sorry for the rant, I just have NO ONE who will EVER UNDERSTAND what I've been going through. It sucks. I'm sorry.
Rant over.