Quote:
Originally Posted by Redbadger
The last thing I want to do is to make her uncomfortable. But I'd she is not taking my feelings into account. I'm insecure anyway. If she is only taking her friends feelings into account and not mine surely that's wrong. I don't ask to be put above her friends bit surely I should be on a par with them?
If I'm unaware of saying anything crass in future but am accused of crassness, would I be wrong to ask why it is ok for her friend to be crass but not me? I certainly mean no harm or disrespect
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I have no idea where your girlfriend is coming from in this situation but I can give you one explanation that is something I might do.
Whether or not I say something to a guy friend depends on my mood and how offensive I found the comment.
If I'm dating a guy I try to always tell him if I find a sexual/ized comment offensive. Why? I'm not having sex with my guy friend. I'm not looking for intimacy or to trust my guy friend on that level. Sure, I want my guy friend to have a clue but I won't always say something everytime because I might not mind some guy that is just a friend says gross stuff. I might even find my gross male friend funny.
So, yes, I have a double standard but that double standard is based on expectation. I expect that guy I'm dating to respect my body (and mind and me his) and I want to think of my guy as someone that respects the mind/body of women.
In a weird way, it may be a compliment. She may expect more from you.