So, I'm really depressed right now, and it's this annoying depression where I'm really agitated and can't focus or concentrate on anything. It's really uncomfortable. I'm not stable. I am off. I'm paranoid. I have bad paranoia/anxiety attacks. I just want to sleep all the time, but I can't. I'm pushing myself through this. I'm making (or trying anyway) myself do the things I normally do, like write in my journal and work on my writing and clean, etc., and go to work and not call in and have a "mental health" day. Even if every day is hard, and getting harder.

My goal is to NOT end up inpatient before my appointment next month. Yesterday my husband had a serious conversation with me about taking me to the ER because I'm suicidal.

I don't know.

Anyone else push your way through your depression? Make yourself do your daily activities? Put on a nice, happy facade at work?

I'm great with facades. I spent two weeks psychotic during my last episode and no one at work could even tell (not that I interact very much with the people I work with). The only person who could tell I was acting a little weird was our babysitter, just because I was talking really fast (normally I don't talk at all).