I have what I personally call significant "events" or "periods" in my life that kind of go through a timeline too.

Alot of what you have said is deeply routed and I think that counseling will stand you in good stead as you begin to work through and process these events. The bad memories and empty feelings will begin to disappate as you work towards achieving a sense of comfort within yourself and recognise the value of your worth and how meaningful you are.