You guys and gals rock. Thank you so much for the replies. There is plenty for me to reflect on now.

Gavinandnikki: I suppose the realization that, 'she did what she had to do for herself,' helps me some in knowing it is not entirely my fault - and to tell you the truth - I suspected she was going to do it for the sake of her own sanity. I also did tell her that I was becoming attached to her and that I would need to set boundaries and limits of my own if we were to continue texting. So in a way - yes - the thought that she did it for both herself and myself adds a subtle layer of understanding and content...

BUT - as Hooligan said - it does bring up suicidal ideation and that is the unfortunate part of all of this. I got attached to her VERY quickly in the span of a couple weeks and I just lost myself in it. It's so amazing how fast it happens! Like unbelievable. The feeling that I can send a text and get a reply within minutes - that was what this was. It was that drug addiction feeling - and I know she experienced it with me as well.

The thing that is bothering me now is that we both have the same individual therapist. We are both struggling with our therapist and we shared our circumstances and some of our dislike towards her - so now there's this worry that both of us would go and taddle tale... I asked my therapist about this and she is a VERY experienced therapist and she said that she has never experienced this situation before... Once again - she said it was a perfect storm... (Seems that the perfect storm keeps following me around) The biggest challenge I have in trusting my therapist is that this girl sent this text just after or during her session with our individual therapist... I can't get the thought out of my head that my therapist intentionally had her set limits and abandon me for malicious reasons...

Interestingly enough - I read through about 1000 or so text messages and the second message I sent was, "Hey! I just want to be sure I'm not crossing boundaries. If you change your mind and don't want me to text please just say so. I will not take offense."

Oh the irony...

I have a question for you all.

After she sent her final text message I replied a few times (which I regret). I'm wondering if you can all let me know if it seems like I was unreasonable in my responses:

She wrote: "Hey - I hope you are feeling better today. This is really hard for me to say but I think it's something I have to do right now (based on where I am in my struggles right now)...... You asked me if you were crossing my limits. I realized that texting you has become too much for me to deal with. I know your struggling and I encourage you to reach to [[[INDIVIDUAL THERAPIST NAME]]] about that. I would appreciate it if you would stop contacting me."

I replied:

"..."

"Forever?"

"I need clarification about this... What did I do? If there's anything good that can come from this tell me what I did wrong so I can learn from it."

"I can respect your limits - but please don't do this without giving me some idea what I did. Please don't."

"I am so sorry."

"Good bye"


Let me know what you think...

Thanks,
HD