Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within
This thread has had an interesting effect on me and I feel like sharing so here goes. Looking for (and finding) a pic of someone who looks quite similar to my t, posting it and then subsequently deleting the post, I felt, well, it sorta made me start missing her again, but in a different sort of way than I used to miss her before. When I used to miss her before, it was more I think, because I had projected so much onto her during our work together (mother stuff, grandmother stuff, blablabla) the "missing her" was somehow all tangled up with them? Or something? And that's why the missing her used to be so intense?? I don't know. But when we spent that little bit of time together again last month, I didn't have those projections in place anymore, and I was seeing and experiencing her as just "her" and nothing more, and it was such an honest and warm conversation.... that I'm missing her now in a "I'm so glad we got that chance -I am so lucky to have had her as my t - wistful, happy sigh" kind of a way. Does that make any sense?
I love it when a seemingly random thread inspires some good inner workings in me!!
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I think I know what you mean. I've had brief moments of seeing CBT T for himself and not for what I want to see. There is something very valuable in that moment.
For me, it may be about seeing that he's as flawed as I am but in different ways and has his own insecurities. He isn't the image of perfection I put onto him.