Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
I think I know what you mean. I've had brief moments of seeing CBT T for himself and not for what I want to see. There is something very valuable in that moment.
For me, it may be about seeing that he's as flawed as I am but in different ways and has his own insecurities. He isn't the image of perfection I put onto him.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliaxxx
I don't find my transference going away... And at the same time, I DON'T want it too. I used I feel so guilty about it and I tried to be in denial. But now that I am more aware of it, and that I kinda told her, I'm worried it's going to end. And I'm worried I'll be too clingy and push her away. Or that I'll move on... Which is the whole idea. But I don't want to. As much as I want to get better, I don't want to because then it'll end. And I won't feel a need for that intense transference with her anymore. Blah.
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But you know what Ameliaxxx? When the time is right, you WILL want to move on. That is where I am right now... in the "moving on" phase. (I never thought I would get here comfortably either!)
And growlycat seeing my t, person to person, "just me" (instead of "client me") and "just her" (instead of "t her")
was a very valuable moment for me, too. It's like seeing this real person who is a successful, happy person in front of you that you had really only ever seen as "perfect" before - omg she actually has doubts about herself sometimes and she's a real human being just like I am and if she can be successful and happy with her flaws, then I can be too with mine! (I mean duh of course I always knew she was a real human being I never thought she was a robot or something but somehow with all the transference/projections you just don't know it on a conscious level or something.) I don't know what I am trying to say just ignore me haha! Anyway yes. it is a valuable moment.