llleee, my experiences have taught me that the reason I ended up in lopsided, unsatisfying relationship, both romantic and friendly, was due to my low self-esteem. I've had social anxiety all my life, just really acknowledging it to myself recently. As a result, I've over-accommodated in relationships. I've never felt worthy, esp. in my romantic relationships, and as a result, went with men who "chose" me, thinking that was okay, even if my feelings were absent. It sounds a bit like what you are doing with this fella, though I don't want to project my own experiences on you.

I hear what you are saying about being alone, but the first thing I had to learn to stop the repetitive cycle of dysfunction, was to learn to be alone.
I'm older, so I don't mind my solitude. You sound young, so don't want to adopt a solitary lifestyle. I can appreciate that.

Going to the meetups, and other social events is a good idea, where there are no expectations, but where you might have healthy interactions with members of both sexes. I know one woman who met her soulmate by volunteering at Habitats for Humanity. I thought "how cool!"

It doesn't sound like there is a future with this guy other than as a casual friend. You don't need to be answering his call each morning and going out to eat. Do as Rose suggested, and, I would even go further, and cool it with him for a while.