Trigger warning ( I hope I labled that right.) I don't know if it's a trigger exactly, but I figure I better be safe than sorry.)

A long time ago I dealt w/ anorexia, and in my teens my weight shot up to meds. And my weight has fluctuated after I got it a bit back down, but it was never really down enough. I take appetite suppressants, and I wonder if that's part of it, the whole metabolism slowing down due to the body being tricked into starvation, and storing fat.. I feel I don't really eat too much, but I also have a VERY sedentary life style too. I'm just trying to lose weight and not feel gross, and I can't bring myself to exercise yet, other wise I feel I would be doing other things I enjoy as well too.

I guess what I am asking is there any hope for a metabolism to be fixed after years of this? I've been on these meds with the same cruddy appetite since I was a kid. Could I ever learn to like, force myself to eat, and get my body out of starvation mode, and see my body stop storing fat quite as much?

I was also hoping to find tips on not eating out of sadness/emptiness. I mean because of my appetite surpression, All I know is that when I eat, food causes a 'good' sensation... And well I am a lot better on meds than off, but I tend to just try to fix things that bother me with food. And Idk how to break that. And there seems to be a lot that bothers me, and I'm not in any good place to do much about it quite yet. Anyways, It helped typing this out. And it's not like mods let my stuff fly anyways on this site. :/ In the case it actually does make it to a forum post, I could both use and appreciate the help. It's one of the things I think I don't like about myself and just kind of piles on, you know?