Very brief background: I see an individual T and a marriage counselor. I have a bit of maternal transference for my T and quite a bit of paternal (with maybe a little erotic, though much less than before) for my MC. They both know about it. Had a few individual sessions with MC back in March to discuss and address it.

I recently felt a random need for more reassurance from MC. Had a phone call from him Friday where he made me feel good and secure. During that call, I shared that I love him (in a paternal rather than romantic way, but may not have clarified that enough at the time). Also told T last week that I love her (just maternal way). Had kinda weird joint session with H and MC Monday that led me to leaving voicemail asking MC to call me. We talked today for a half hour, and he seemed to change his tune from Friday, being much less reassuring. I'd said I wanted another individual session with him (H is OK with it) to work through the transference, but he was extremely resistant, basically acting like because I felt like I needed it, then I shouldn't have it. He thought I would just be seeking reassurance from him, which wouldn't be beneficial. I shared that it hurt me and I felt rejected (topic came up Friday), he acted like it would be a learning experience for me, that feeling the pain would help me grow. Which of course hurt like hell, especially since I'd just expressed love for him and have some fear of abandonment that we just recently discussed, including on Friday. (He's still fine seeing H and I together.)

When talked to my T later tonight (called her upset), she said that I'm in a "complicated situation" (since it's MC rather than an individual T). She also said that if someone is feeling transference, then they shouldn't be given reassurance because that will just reinforce the transference. My T also recently told me (in response to my question) that she hugs some clients but won't hug me because I have maternal transference, and she doesn't want to reinforce that.

This seems to contradict a bit with what I've read on how T's should deal with transference. Note that this is a psychoanalytic MC (and T), rather than psychodynamic (which I think uses transference more in therapy). I'm just curious, for those experiencing transference of any kind (maternal, paternal, erotic, etc.) for their T, how has the T handled the transference on a more long-term basis? Is it just discussed a few times then done? Talked about regularly? Did your T seem to pull back from offering reassurance or anything else? Other stuff?