Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
I'm so sorry that you feel the need to conceal the real you. It sounds like your background brought you to do that. From birth, the true you (a girl) was not wanted. With your parents fighting, it sounds like you were afraid to speak, which also makes sense under the circumstances. What would have happened when you were younger if you ever said what you really thought? How about now?
What about your posting here: to what extent are you telling us what you really think? How does it feel for you to speak here?
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If I was younger and I spoke I was told to shush and I'm little and that I don't know any better. Now I don't talk to my family much so I don't express anything to them. There really is nothing to say to them but even if I do they'll just nod or tell me that I don't really know much yet because I'm young and inexperienced.
Posting here is different it seems for me. I can be more open here because it's completely anonymous. I feel like I'm not being judged so I can say basically whatever I want (considering I'm a person that conceals everything). One time I told my friend that I feel really anxious and I'm getting a lot of anxiety and just telling her that made me even more anxious and made me shake even more. Telling people I know in real life about what goes on with me just doesn't seem to work. I get really anxious and I feel like they will judge me.