Quote:
Originally Posted by taymickeva3
I have been with my husband for 18 years married 13 ...before I was diagnosed Ieft my husband every time I was manic ...I always thought the same thing he was holding me back and there were these great things I was suppose to be doing in my life and needed to go out and party and be with other men...and then when I was "normal" I would get back together and I would be happy and inlove again..till my next manic episode and it would happen all over again..he was always there for me even when we weren't together I don't know how ..I can't believe he loves me that much...I even had a child with another man I was in a relationship with.we have been good since I was diagnosed 4 years ago and I still have my ups and downs but we get through them together and our relationship has never been better or stronger...I feel for you ,I have an idea what your going through you just have to go on with your life as hard as it might be and if you are meant to be together she will find her way back to you...
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
|
Wow, that's a great post. what you said here:
"I always thought the same thing he was holding me back and there were these great things I was suppose to be doing in my life and needed to go out and party and be with other men.."
I have to believe this is a factor in her thinking right now. The absurd thing is that I encouraged her every single day to live a full life. Yoga, running, time with friends (who I didn't really know and turned out being ******, *factor), spending time with her family, she was as free as anyone could possibly be inside a relationship. I never told her to not do something healthy or productive..
I'm not sure of your history and it's none of my business but on her end of things, addictions play a big role too. It's definitely a scrambled mess that the clearest mind would struggle to sort out. I can not picture her having the ability to dig herself out alone. Unfortunately, my gut tells me this will go to the bottom, she will be desperate and try to manipulate things as far as she can. a short term toxic relationship or two, back at her mothers, possibly in default on her car etc. who knows..
What would not surprise me is her waiting til the very very last desperate moment to pull my heart strings and manipulate me into supporting her again. She is capable of running a few months tops before there is big consequences.
At this point, I think I'll just wait it out, contacting her nets me nothing it seems. The more this goes on the more I'm setting myself up to hear how she's "in love" with someone else as well..
I spent the day at the fair yesterday with my daughter who loved her very much. My little girl was asking about her the entire time, you could tell we both wished she was there with us. My little girl got a pizza afterwards. She was eating it with a knife and fork like my ex always did. I asked her why she was doing that and she said "because I'm ******, and I eat like her".We both miss her dearly.. The entire dynamic with my daughter is out of whack with this loss, she was an integral part of her life and my relationship to my daughter as well. My daughter was able to see me happy for the first time since divorce.
Again, I'm just venting/rambling.
Everyone who has posted here has been so helpful and I have huge respect for all of you and your own personal struggles.