I'm no stranger to the non-relationship relationship. So sorry to say it sounds like you're in one. The non-relationship relationship is one where the other person is not as invested in it as I am, where they do whatever they want (show up, pay attention/notice me) as it suits them, where they take whatever I have to offer but get bent out of shape if I ask for or need anything and where they'll give just a little when it looks like I'm about to bail so they don't lose the attention/ego boost/sex whatever I provide.

I've learned sooo much from reading this blog "baggage reclaim". I'm gonna post a link to one of the many articles I like there. The author of this site has helped me immensely not just in understanding why my past romantic relationships didn't work out or felt so painful and confusing but to understand my role in them (why I do/did stuff) and boundaries. And, she's funny as heck to boot!

From the link about ambiguous relationships:

You invest a hell of a lot of energy analysing the crap out of the other person’s behavior.

You see at least two possible interpretations of something.

You’re unwilling to go out on a limb and do the right thing for yourself by asking what the score is and gaining clarification.

It’s on their terms; terms I might add that you’re unlikely to be in full agreement with.

You go along with things with a view to gaining a greater reward for your ‘compliance’.

You don’t say what you truly mean and try to buffer it out of fear of rejection or fear of letting go and then them spontaneously combusting into unambiguous with someone else.

One of both of you hint but think you’re being direct.

One or both of you claim that you’re upfront about what you want even though it was said once ages ago or actions directly contradict what was said.

One or both of you cannot be pinned down to an outcome and a decision.

Are You Open To Interpretation? Why Healthy Relationships & Happiness Have No Room For Ambiguity | Baggage Reclaim by Natalie Lue