He won't respect your feelings, until you do. Start right this minute. You have a right to not like something - just because you don't.

After 11 years, you are not ready to run out the door . . . over this. That's okay. Part of this is attention seeking by your boyfriend. He sounds a bit bored with his life. I'm not surprised he has trouble making friends.

Since this online gal-buddy is in another country, you might choose the option of ignoring the whole thing . . . and I mean pay zero attention. Refuse to listen to anything he wants to say about his discussions with her.