Hi theegoandtheid, I am so sorry you have been abandoned and had your hopes rekindled to only have them dashed again. Your ex sounds abusive and narcissistic. He is a person that has hurt you multiple times. I would stop thinking about him as a person that can help you and keep working on DBT and finding solace in God.

I can see no reason to reach out to him. There is no apparent measure of human decency that he has offered to you. You owe him nothing. It may mean giving up hope in that relationship as a viable relationship. Talk about the relationship and the inconsiderate and possibly cruel way he treated you and see if you can find a way to let it go. Perhaps the reason it is so difficult to release it, is because there may be something else that is underneath it. Perhaps this is a subject for you and your therapist to explore.