I think it's great that you have learned more about yourself from this experience! That's a really great way to look at things.

I don't understand why you feel sorry for this man, though. Feeling sorry for someone is kind of insulting and condescending; it is a way of cutting that person down and saying there is something wrong with them.If he feels good about himself-- and he simply didn't want to be friends-- why does that mean there is something wrong with him? Why do you have to feel sorry for him? Just because YOU don't agree with his criteria for friendship doesn't make him wrong; he may simply need different things than you do or hold different values than you. Can't you just accept that he didn't want the friendship, and that his reasons worked well for him?