I actually feel better than I have in years. I have been going through depression where suicide was always there every second. Now, it isn't there that much. Only pops up once in a while and not same intensity.

I actually been feeling really good.

The only side thing now is that I realized that the thing I lived the most don't need me. Actually everyone who o love don't need me or even love me ir even want me in their lives. I'm okay with it now.

But overall I have been feeling good. Drinking actually have been a plus to the goid feeling. But I know waking up and heading towards it isn't good. I did that for cigs when I smoked and I did that for coffee. So instead of coffee I need girl the drink. It really haven't had bad effect yet.

I'm pretty sober. I feel drunk and then it seem to disappear quickly. This us all new to me.

I will look into different coping method. Right now, think it might be giving me a stomach pain.

Thank you for helping me.