I am in a weird mood thats not on either side, slightly mixed but not bad enough to warrent doing anything yet. Mostly I'm really angry and while there are situational things going on (moving, trips, and lots of forced peopling) I still feel off. I really don't want to be around people but at the same time I'm lonely. I really need my schedule to calm down but its getting more and more crazy and I'm losing my ability to keep myself under control. Yesterday I resorted to drinking and sleep whiich I know I shouldn't do but losing the day was worth it. Just being able to shut down and have peace in my head for a few hours.

I have so much that I'm responsible for with work, family, and caring for an aging mother with her own psych problems.... Why don't I get to say I can't handle it anymore and be a little selfish for what I need?