Quote:
Originally Posted by czarina1984
I am in a weird mood thats not on either side, slightly mixed but not bad enough to warrent doing anything yet. Mostly I'm really angry and while there are situational things going on (moving, trips, and lots of forced peopling) I still feel off. I really don't want to be around people but at the same time I'm lonely. I really need my schedule to calm down but its getting more and more crazy and I'm losing my ability to keep myself under control. Yesterday I resorted to drinking and sleep whiich I know I shouldn't do but losing the day was worth it. Just being able to shut down and have peace in my head for a few hours.
I have so much that I'm responsible for with work, family, and caring for an aging mother with her own psych problems.... Why don't I get to say I can't handle it anymore and be a little selfish for what I need?
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I am so sorry you are going through this czarina. I can really understand the statement that you "really don't want to be around people but at the same time I'm lonely." I feel the same way. I have made myself be around people. For instance, yesterday I still went to my mom's house for our weekly get together when I didn't want to go. I actually had a great time! Occasionally I also drink just to escape my depression but it doesn't always work; sometimes it makes me more depressed. And many times, when depressed, sleeping is all I do. I think it's fine to do as long as it doesn't become habit. I know for me the sleeping does get out of control. I wish you could say you can't handle it, if only for a while. Take a needed break. Do you have a significant other who can take care of things for 2 or 3 days to give you that break? Also, do you have a healthy way to release your anger, like running or a punching bag? I hope things look up for you soon.