Hi Direction,
Sorry you feel that way

I use to say that too because I thought I always felt better drunk. Then I realized I felt better at the moment and then felt worse after. The alcohol just covered all my problems and I wasn't able to deal with them until I got sober.
I still have moments when the thought of a drink crosses my mind, but it passes quickly. I can now feel what I need to feel even if it's uncomfortable for a bit. I also can remember everything I do which is different.
Tranquility