Benefits of Being a Woman

We got off the Titanic first.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

Taxis stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Free drinks, free dinners.

We can hug our friends without wondering if they're gay.

We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.