Quote:
Originally Posted by prefabsprout
Coming back to this one rather than starting a new thread because it's basically a continuation of a theme.
I had a very sociable week last week, which pushes my comfort zone, I can see I am making huge progress in opening up and putting myself out there (probably not a big deal to most people but a bigger deal to me). The underlying feeling I had was still that I feel undeserving, I have all these nice people around me saying lovely things and I feel like I don't deserve it. I have the loveliest new friend, had him over with my family, I cooked for everyone and we had the nicest time, lots of laughs together - afterwards, next day, I still felt that undeserving feeling. This was all in the face of the affirmative kind things he said to me.
I'm not sure if there is a way to ever undo such knotted thinking.
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I always find you very cordial and welcoming. I was pressed on with guilt when I was a child. "You have everything, you should be appreciative, when we were kids we really suffered." It did a blow to self esteem.
Low self esteem can create that kind of thinking as undeserving. There is a forum on esteem here at PC.
You really do deserve what is happening to you because you are you. When you can look in the mirror and say it and believe it, then this load will be lighter.