I do still like her. I know I'm having a lot of difficulty simply because of how things ended with ex-T. It makes me feel like she's a step-mother trying to replace my real mother. Instead I'm betraying ex-T by seeing new T. It's hard to trust her because of what ex-Tdid. It's hard to let her in. And I keep comparing the two and it just makes me miss ex-T.

But, if I try and take ex-T out of the equation and look at only my new T, I think she has the potential to be a great T. It's just growing pains. She doesn't know me and I don't know her. It's only been 9 weeks. She has been helpful so far. And she did get my T to give me the package. I feel a little indebted to her because of that.

She is nice, she seems smart. She uses psycho-dynamic and DBT, as well as, other techniques. She's female and pretty, not scary looking. She's just not as warm as I need her to be when I'm upset.

I'm used to ex-T turning off the lights, leaning forward, whispering, touching my knee or arm, and offering hugs. But it sucks because I'm not ready to be touched by T.

This might sound weird, but I think this whole drama is a good sign. It shows that I care enough to say something and I'm wanting more from her. It also shows I'm trusting her because I spoke up and yet don't fear any repercussions. And I have been thinking about her daily and look forward to seeing her. Maybe I'm finally developing more of a connection? That or it's all pure coincidence.

Well, the good news is that I have no desire to quit this T yet.