Thread: I have a goal.
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Old Jun 16, 2015, 06:43 AM
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raspberrytorte raspberrytorte is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2015
Location: USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Capriciousness View Post
Oh Raspberry!!!!!!!

Dude I have soooooo been there. Omg the crying while trying to get to a kids music class. The feeling of complete oh I don't even know what it is but it is like fighting through something to get to anything.

Once I was there but it was the beginning of an episode so it caught me off guard. I was trying to take my kids to a music class and I don't have to describe to you how awful it was trying to get there. I along gave up and lied on the floor about five times. We made it. We were late. I felt overpowered by the crazy and as I got out of the car I was crying shaking and freaking the **** out. Not panic but manic. Manic panic or whatever the ****. It was horrendous I could not even find or hold a thought in my head. I was lost drowning. My friend tried to calm me down but she was scared. I felt trapped in the parking lot because I became too panicked to drive. I was sure I'd crash. Both because of paranoia and because my cognition had gone to ****. Ultimately. I somehow pulled it together and drove to a close nearby park where I sat on a hill in the sunshine and watched individual leaves twirl down from the trees and felt blissed out magical mania. ****ing mixed ****.

So short story long I get it.

I think those benzo *****es need a good talking to. Have THEY ever tried having a torturous mixedish episode hell without THEIR benzos. I bet not.

I bet not.
It's so good your friend was there to help you and you weren't alone!

The thought of sitting on a hill in the sunshine and watching leaves fall off of trees sounds amazing to me right now. I would love to do that.

Hell, has this new doctor I'm seeing ever even been DEPRESSED. Probably not! And I bet she doesn't have anxiety either. AND I bet she's never been manic psychotic, so what the **** does she know. Seriously! Does she know what a paranoia attack feels like? When you're too terrified to even move?

Oh well. If she ****s me up and I end up inpatient because of her, at least I'll be able to request a different doctor.
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